Our carbon, which art in the heavens,
Damned be thy name,
Thy power be gone,
On earth as it is in heaven,
Give us this day our daily rations,
And forgive us our emissions.
As we forgive those who emissions are greater,
For their need is more,
His name is Al Gore,
For his is the kingdom, the power and the glory for ever and ever, Carbon.
Our Gaia, Who art in danger,
Sustainable be thy name,
Thy renewable energy resources come,
Thy Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change’s will be done
On Earth as it is in the upper atmosphere
Give us this day our daily organic ciabatta
Forgive us our carbon emissions
Though we can’t forgive those multinationals who emit against us
Lead us not into excessive plane travel
Deliver us from genetically modified crops
For thine is the moral high ground
The onshore wind farms and the subsidies
For as long as the taxes can be raised. Amen.